Why’s everyone gotta be hatin’ on Jose? Dude is a super hero… and super heroes are always made out the be the villain. If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a million times…the good guys maliciously accused of bad despite their heroics. How many times did Peter Parker get fired from the Daily Bugle? How many times did Clark Kent get yelled at working at the Daily Planet for never being there to see Superman in action? Well, guess what… Jose Canseco’s got something that Spiderman and Superman don’t have…. an Ozzie.
That’s right, Jose’s twin brother. You think that Jose ever actually played for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays? No. You think that was him in the Texas Rangers outfield letting routine fly balls bounce off his head into the stands for Home Runs? Hellllll no. What’s wrong with you people? That was Ozzie. Welp, every once in a while… superheroes get caught red handed when they are trying to do the right thing. In this scenario, Jose Canseco signed up to do a Celebrity Boxing match. I follow @JoseCanseco on Twitter, and I saw some pretty random tweets about this Damon Feldman character, the promoter for the event. They read, “Be very careful with Damon feldman who runs celebrity boxing he will not pay you if you fight for him” “Damon feldman will not fulfil his part of the bargain” I hear ya, Jose. Turns out this sleazeball didn’t hold up his end of the bargain. So, Jose did what any smart super hero would do, when you smell trouble… you send in your doppelganger so you can be there to save the day when things went awry, without having to reveal your true identity. You’re seriously telling me that you don’t think Jose was there up in the rafters for this event? Wearing a cape, just waiting to swoop in and save the day? Well, sadly, Jose did not take into account the savvy of this shady promoter, because he noticed that it was Ozzie because the tattoos didn’t match up. Since then, Jose’s been dropping Twitter bombs left and right, just trying to defend his honor.
As you read these next few tweets from Jose, I want you to hum the lyrics from our boy Peter Cetera… I know you know them, don’t pretend you don’t…“I am a man who will fight for your honor, I’ll be the hero that you’re dreaming of…Gonna live forever knowing together, that we did it all for the glory of love” Ok, here we go… here are Jose Canseco’s tweets, all from the last 14 hours:
“let’s see who is smart enough to figure out what happened at the boxing match”
“I am a fighter against liars and hypocrites and all injustice”
“you will never know the real truth is you keep listening to the media”
“is anyone out there smart enough to figure it out or are you all a bunch of hateful morons”
“the truth is always hidden from the public to create villains and heroes which 1 are you truly”
“seek the truth before reacting”
“just remember the media is write 20 percent of 50 percent of the time”
“how can you haters being so ignorant it’s amazing”
“I am still waiting for an intelligent scenario”
“by the way e s p n is owned by major league baseball of course they are going to lie”
“call 3108626309 if you want to know the truth about celebrity boxing all monies go to charity”
Jose! Look at me! I am here. I believe! I figured it out, right?! I know you fight against liars, hypocrites and all injustice….that’s what super heroes do! I’m not listening to the stupid media, I’m listening to you! I’m smart enough… ME ME ME! I’m seeking the truth here, Jose… screw ESPN, screw the media, screw the haters, screw MLB… liars! Cheats! Hopefully, Jose, you can see truth and justice here at LobShots too. We’re behind you… screw the haters! Let’s rally behind Jose, call the number…give to charity!
Like a knight in shining armor, from a long ago…