Screw you St. Louis!

(Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)

Dear St. Louis,

That’s right, Cardinals, you. Screw you. What’s your deal, bro? Why all this pent up passive aggressive animosity toward the San Diego Padres? What the hell did we ever do to you? Was it our postseason prowess against you? You pissed that we took ONE game in the NL Division Series in 1996, 2005 and 2006 combined? Sorry for not letting you sweep us three times…9-1 must be tough on you. How do you thank us for the beat downs you give us almost every year?

(AP Photo/Tom Gannam)

Jim Edmonds throws out the ceremonial first pitch yesterday for Opening Day. Screw you. Okay, confession time here… I have loved watching Jim Edmonds play since his Anaheim days and for both the Angels and the Cardinals, the plays he’s made in the outfield are some of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen on the baseball field. Then he came to the Padres. You S.O.B. Here’s a line from one year with the Cardinals and his time with the Padres.

Year and Team    AB          HR        RBI       AVG.     SLG.     OPS.

2004 Cards –     498         42         111        .301      .643      1.061

2008 Padres –    90          1            6            .178      .233      .265

Pretty similar, right? On team with a history of awful pickups, Jim Edmonds will go down in history among the worst one-year performances ever for the Padres. You don’t think the Cards know this? You don’t think they were trying to mess with the Padres by draggin’ his ass out for the first pitch? Wanna know who else was on hand for Opening Day that could’ve also thrown that pitch? Six Hall of Famers – Ozzie Smith, Red Schoendienst, Lou Brock, Bob Gibson, Whitey Herzog and Stan Musial, the Man. Yeah, they rolled out Edmonds to eff with us. I know what you’re thinking too. They could’ve rolled out Ozzie too, right? Yeah, they were holding Ozzie in their back pocket. Guess who sang the national anthem? Ozzie Smith’s son, who was apparently on American Idol, Nikko Smith. Talk about a slap in the face. We get it… you got a Hall of Famer, we got Garry Templeton. Why rub in though? It’s just mean-spirited.

Side note: Both wearing SICK uniforms.

In the Padres defense, when the trade went down, here were their career numbers:

Player                   G             AB           AVG.       OBP.       SLG.        HR           RBI          SB

Smith                      583         2236       .231      .295      .278      1              129         147

Templeton             713         2990       .305      .325      .418      25           281         138

As you can see, aside from Stolen Bases, Templeton had the much better numbers. Welp, the rest is freakin’ history, the Cardinals got the billion time all-star, Hall of Famer, Wizard of Oz and the Padres got the Garry. Oddly enough their career stats weren’t that different in the end, proving that sometimes, numbers do indeed lie.

Player                   G             AB           AVG.       OBP.       SLG.        HR           RBI          SB

Smith                      2573       9396       .262        .337     .328           28           793         580

Templeton             2079       7721       .271        .369      .369           70           728         242

So where does that leave us, St. Louis? The Cardinals continually crush the Padres in the playoffs, and the regular season for that matter. You got an amazing Jim Edmonds, we got a piece of turd in a uniform that said Edmonds on the back. We got the Garry, you the Wizard. I’ve intentionally left out Ryan Ludwick, because the jury is still out, but if the end of 2010 is any indication, we’ll be able to add him to the list of reasons St. Louis should wash San Diego’s feet every time we play each other. Well, guess what a.holes… your Edmonds and Ozzie tactics didn’t work yesterday, because yesterday will go down in the history books as the day the Padres beat the Cardinals on Opening Day in St. Louis. So suck on that St. Louis.

Love, San Diego


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