Roger McDowell, our kook of the week. I guess Roger wasn’t really paying much attention to this Kobe Bryant ‘bundle of sticks’ situation, huh? By now you’ve heard about how Roger McDowell, the Atlanta Braves pitching coach, got into it with a few San Francisco Giants fans, allegedly speaking incredibly intelligently with them. Questions like “Are you a homo couple or a threesome?” “Are you three giving it to each other in the a**?” Then, when challenged by a father with his two daughters present, he allegedly responded, “Kids don’t f**king belong at the baseball park” and then came up to them with a baseball bat and asked, “How much are your teeth worth?” During his pitching days with the New York Mets and Los Angeles Dodgers (and others), he was known as a huge prankster. He’s the dude that literally put on his entire uniform upside down…head and arms in the pants holes walking around on his hands in the dugout.
Check out that description on the card. Classic. Well, what a jokester huh? I mean, the way he spoke to those fans? Hysterical. With a couple little kids there too? Like, OMG, too funny. Prior to this week… aside from his pitching career, McDowell was famous from Seinfeld… he, alongside Keith Hernandez, was the spitter in the now infamous “The Boyfriend” episode. McDowell comes into play with the “second spitter theory”, clearly a parody of the JFK assassination. The initial description as it’s told by Jerry: Newman, Kramer, if you’ll indulge me. According to your story Keith passes you and starts walking up the ramp then you say you were struck on the right temple. The spit then proceeds to ricochet off the temple striking Newman between the third and forth rib. The spit then came off the rib, turned and hit Newman in the right wrist causing him to drop his baseball cap. The spit then splashed off the wrist, pauses in mid air mind you -makes a left turn and lands on Newman’s left thigh. That is one magic loogie!
Anyway, back to McDowell… here’s the story, and he has come out and apologized…which of course gives validity to the allegations in the first place. So, McDowell’s an idiot and he should 100% get fired for this. They’re fans, they heckle… it’s what they do. You’re a professional, deal with it. Here’s the part I don’t get… what’s this guy’s deal?
C’mon Dad. Is this really the best approach here? Get a lawyer, hold a press conference, and parade your family in front of the news cameras? Like I said, McDowell’s an idiot and he deserves to be punished, but 20 years from now… those two little girls are going to be more scarred from that press conference and the ensuing madness surrounding this… than they were from McDowell’s words at the ballpark. Guaranteed.
Ok, one last thing… is it “luggie” or “loogie”?