NBA on Lockout: Dwyane Wade Thinks He’s Funny

NEW YORK — The National Basketball Association announced that it will commence a lockout of its players, effective at 12:01 am ET on July 1, until a new collective bargaining agreement is reached with the National Basketball Players Association.

“The expiring collective bargaining agreement created a broken system that produced huge financial losses for our teams,” said NBA Deputy Commissioner Adam Silver. “We need a sustainable business model that allows all 30 teams to be able to compete for a championship, fairly compensates our players, and provides teams, if well-managed, with an opportunity to be profitable.”

“We have made several proposals to the union, including a deal targeting $2 billion annually as the players’ share — an average of approximately $5 million per player that could increase along with league revenue growth,” said Silver. “Elements of our proposal would also better align players’ pay with performance.”

“We will continue to make every effort to reach a new agreement that is fair and in the best interests of our teams, our players, our fans, and our game.”

During the lockout, players will not receive their salaries; teams will not negotiate, sign or trade player contracts; players will not be able to use team facilities for any purpose; and teams will not conduct or facilitate any summer camps, exhibitions, practices, workouts, coaching sessions, or team meetings.

Welp, there ya have it… NBA is on lockout. The NFL was getting lonely in lockout land, nice of the NBA to visit. Apparently, Dwyane Wade is already on the hunt for a job. Shortly after the official NBA announcement, he tweeted this. “Any1 hiring?

What’s hysterical about this are the millions of Americans that don’t have jobs that aren’t millionaires. So funny, bro. Got any other good ones?

I guess you do. You are on a roll, D. Wade! Keep ’em coming, man. I bet you blue collar America is logging online right now to buy NBA Season Pass just so they can now watch Heat games next season, you know…if there’s a season. In the meantime, I know a guy if you need a hand with that whole balloon animal thing you’re going for.

Take that, you hyena, don’t say thank you…

-bp

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