SNAKES ON A PLANE! (like, for real)

London – A man has been caught trying to smuggle 247 live animals, including deadly snakes, on to an aircraft in his suitcase.

Karel Abelovsky, 51, had checked in his luggage and was waiting to board the flight when the cargo was found.

Baggage staff noticed things “wriggling inside” his bag as it passed through an X-ray scanner at Ezeiza Airport in Buenos Aires.

The haul included boa constrictors, venomous coral snakes and poisonous vipers. Other animals were reported to be extremely rare.

Police suspect Czech Abelovsky was acting for an exotic species smuggling ring. His Iberia flight was destined for Prague. He was charged with attempted smuggling and faces up to ten years in prison if convicted. The incident echoed the 2006 horror-action film Snakes On A Plane.

Life imitating art. Ha! Remember that time I called Snakes on a Plane art? That was a good one. This freaking joker, Czech Abelovsky or Karel Abelovsky, whatever the hell his name is… is he Czech but his name’s Karel? I’m confused. Anyway, THERE IS SUCH A THING AS AN EXOTIC SPECIES SMUGGLING RING. Awesome. Sign me up. Who are these people? What kind of bag was he carrying? What kind of bag carries 247 reptiles? The craziest thing about this? These guys run a smuggling ring, therefore, assuming this isn’t a brand new ring, they’ve done this before… so one can use simple logic to deduce… this has worked before. How? HOW! Better question: How bad is your life that you’ll do this… and risk getting caught to spend 10 years in prison?

In closing, I’d like to thank the brilliantly intuitive writer in the quoted story above who finished of their article with “The incident echoed the 2006 horror-action film Snakes On A Plane.” It did? Well, gosh golly gee willikers, I guess you’re right… it sure does. Because, you know, there were snakes… and they were being smuggling onto… a plane.

Morons, your bus is leaving.


[for the record, yes… I intentionally avoided using the quote from this movie that EVERYBODY quotes… I’ve had it with that quote)

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