Everybody keeps sending me links about kids drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk. Stories like this one and this one. Bottom line is this… if you’re stupid enough to drink hand sanitizer, you deserve to go to the ER. You’re a moron. I’m reading the bottle of it right now, and I quote: “Keep out of reach of children: If swallowed, get medical help or contact a poison control center right away.” Drink up! It’s not like this is a new thing either. Kids have been pounding cough syrup and mouthwash for ages. Equally idiotic. People keep saying, “oh, kids are getting so clever and creative in their sneaky drinking ways these days.” Serious? This crap is stupid. What’s creative and clever is doing what works. You slip a homeless guy a $20, he gets you a 12-pack and keeps the change. Is that not how it works anymore? Granted… that’s stupid too, but worse case scenario… it lands you in jail or juvy… not in the ER getting your damn stomach pumped. Teenagers are really starting to piss me off. My goal for the next decade is to figure out how to skip the teenage years with my 2 year old daughter… just preserve her at 12 or so… then miraculously, she’s like 30.
[lobbed by King, Jonesy, Jess… and about 6 others I forget]