Some Dude is Suing BMW Because It Gave Him a Stiffy

USA Today – A California man has sued BMW North America and a motorcycle-seat maker claiming that a four-hour round-trip ride on his 1993 BMW bike with a “ridge-like” seat gave him “a severe case of priapism (a persistent, lasting erection)” that’s lasted 20 months and counting.

While there have been concerns about narrow “banana” bike seats causing loss of feeling in that area — for men and women — this is the first report we’ve seen of way too much.

The product liability lawsuit against BMW and well-known aftermarket seatmaker Corbin-Pacific (reported first by Courthouse News Service in California) was filed in California Superior Court in San Francisco last Thursday by Henry Wolf and his lawyer, Vernon Bradley of Sausalito.

The Wolf v. BMW lawsuit alleges that Wolf has continued to suffer the erection problem since the September 2010 ride — and, as we know from Viagra ads, anything past four hours is a problem.

The lawsuit for emotional distress says Wolf is “now is unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.”

According to the lawsuit, Wolf wants compensation from BMW and Corbin for lost wages, medical expenses, emotional distress and “general damage.”

General damage? Who’s this joker think he is? You can’t just go suing people because you’ve got something wrong with you. The BMW didn’t give you an almost 2 year stiffy. Your effed up body did. Stock up tighty whities, tuck that bad boy up, and say a prayer of thanks that you never have to take that little blue pill.

He’s “unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.” How? Why? What am I missing… isn’t that the only thing he should be able to do? Emotional and mental anguish? Your lawsuit is giving me emotional and mental anguish… maybe I should sue you. Clown.

When I was a little kid, my dad…after I begged him… would let me ride around on his shoulders when we were walking around Disneyland or Magic Mountain. I’d stay up there so long that all circulation would get cut off to my feet and for about 10 minutes after getting down… my legs hurt so bad, I couldn’t walk. Priapism of the legs. Using this jerk’s logic, I should’ve sued my dad for being so loving. Instead, once I could feel my legs again… I’d ask to get back up there. Maybe I’m the jerk, after all.


[lobbed by bull ben]

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