The Padres Just Pants’d America

Josh Byrnes – 1, America – 0. I don’t know how yet… but he’s got something up his sleeve. He has to. With the billionth pick in the draft, the Padres selected the quarterback for the University of Toledo, Terrance Owens… who doesn’t play baseball. Reports are saying that he’s already turned down the Padres.

I had this whole post about how you guys are all idiots for the calling the Padres into question for this one… about how they had already talked to this kid and he was gonna sign with his rocket left arm…about how this is a classic Antonio Gates-esque pick… about how the Padres scouts just hoodwinked all of baseball and found a diamond in the rough… about how he’s going to be in the 2013 starting rotation… about… I got nothing. The last thing I want to do is just scratch my head about this and say the same thing everybody is saying: “What in the hell are the Padres doing drafting a junior in college that hasn’t played baseball since his freshman year of high school?” But that’s all I got. The kid thought his friends were prank calling him.

I can’t wait to hear the real reasoning. There has to be something. Like, if the Padres draft him, a relative of his will play for them for peanuts… or a rich uncle will buy the team… or something. WHAT IS IT YOU AREN’T TELLING US, PADRES? Tell us…


[lobbed by jonesy, body, caster, @CT2SD, & showman]

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