Wow. Just like that… Brock Lesnar fought, he lost, he retired. Seems like a big giant teddy bear in his announcement too. I wanted to give him a big hug. Good for him for keeping his word to his wife and family…after a battle with diverticulitis, he put his future ahead of his fighting. Nice win by Alistair Overeem. One round. Like a boss in his UFC debut. Dude is a physical specimen.
damn.
-bp
People – A year after their fairy-tale wedding in India, it seems Katy Perry and Russell Brand won’t be living happily ever after.
Brand, 36, filed for divorce in L.A. Friday, citing irreconcilable differences.
“Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage,” he said in a statement to PEOPLE. “I’ll always adore her and I know we’ll remain friends.”
Shocking. They seemed like such a perfect, psychotic match for each other. Russell Brand can go back to partying and Katy Perry can recapture the interest of dudes again since she’s back on the market. Does show you that most celebs rely heavily on smoke and mirrors with their personal relationships. Russell appeared on “Ellen” just this month, slamming divorce rumors – claiming, “I’m really happily married … I’m married to Katy. Perpetually, until death do us part was the pledge. I’m still alive.” So, what? You’re dead now, bro? Bolt of lightening while filing? I wouldn’t complain…ya British freak.
-bp
Well well well, look who’s sitting on top of the world? That’s right, lobsters, you’re looking at a screenshot of the no. 1 Sexiest Twitpic of 2011. Complex magazine put together an incredible list of hot. I give you The 50 Hottest Celebrity Twitpics of 2011. There’s our girl Kate Upton reigning on top of this star-studded kingdom, right where she belongs. NUMBER ONE! What’s that on the bottom though? Oh, I see it now, “@lobshots” baby! That’s right, for you newer lobsters, that’s the photo that Kate Upton sent, directly to me, for the rest of the world to enjoy, over twitter… right after she proposed to me. I would’ve been proud to just be included on the list… but #1? Daaaamn. For you newbies, you can read about how Kate Upton proposed to me, and then how she sent me that sexy wedding “dress” picture for our wedding. Can’t make this stuff up, folks. It bugs me that all the internet-big-boys have all been recently crowning Kate the queen of 2011, when in reality, she’s been my queen all year. Mark Sanchez’s got nothing on your boy BP. The Kate Upton bandwagon? I’m in the drivers seat, with Kate riding shotgun, and the rest of planet’s jumping on board. So, you’re welcome internet… because as you can clearly see in the above screenshot, without me… there would no sexiest photo of 2011.
I thought LobShots struck gold when Life & Style Weekly claimed I was threatening to kill Kim Kardashian… but this Kate Upton masterpiece… is my magnum opus. I could die content with that…as my legacy.
-bp, signing off.
Wow. UFC 141. I’m not a huge UFC fan, just a casual fan. I find this odd because I’ve actually been watching UFC since I was a kid in the early 90’s. UFC 3 was my first pay-per-view MMA experience. The early UFC was pitched as “There are no rules!” Literally, I think the only rules were no eye gouging and no biting. There’s way more now that it’s big and mainstream. We used to get together at my buddy’s house…a bunch of us would order pizza, crush Dr. Pepper, and watch dudes named Royce Gracie, Dan Severn, Ken Shamrock, and Tank Abbott beat the hell out of each other. The skinniest little effer out there, Brazillian Jui-Juitzu specialist, Royce “HOYCE” Gracie… would always win with some submission move that we’d all try to recreate on each other. Throw the couch cushions on the ground and brawl. Gracie probably weighed a buck fifty and he was taking down giants.
Fast forward to 2011… and that poster up top. Giants. It’s brilliant. Brock Lesnar is a freak of a human being. Just a monster. He so much bigger than everybody… until now. Never even heard of this other character, Overeem, but holy crap, he’s just as big a Brock…even taller. Smart move with this poster… because now I totally want to see this fight. Beast vs. Beast, side by side…two freakishly monstrous humans pummeling each other. Sounds like a blast. So, where we watching this, lobsters? Bub’s in PB?
Side note: Lesnar’s insane brass knuckles dagger tat scares me to death. This man is not right in the head.
-bp
Jerome Simpson. Photo version.
Jerome Simpson. Video version.
Jerome Simpson. Gif version.
Amazing. Play of the year?
-bp
[vid via Obsessed with Sports]
See that picture? That’s a screenshot of from The Daily Beast, and that’s huge pile of crap. A gigantic misrepresentation of San Diego. Propaganda from The Daily Beast that named San Diego the ninth drunkest city in the U.S. The 9th drunkest, huh? That’s respectable, you can see the stats on the right there. The average San Diegan will drink 14 drinks/month, and about 7% of adults in the city are considered heavy drinkers, with 17.7% being “binge” drinkers. Seems a bit subjective. If you’ve spent any time in PB or the Gaslamp, you agree these numbers seem shockingly low for our city.
Here’s where the pile of crap part comes in…. the photo up top. Click to enlarge. Serious with that? Who are these people? San Diego is full of hot chicks, and I just don’t think that photo accurately portrays our lovely ladies. All frumpy and sweatshirted out. Why are they so cold, I wonder? Oh, I don’t know… because that’s in FREAKING DENVER. Fellow lobster, Van Diesel, helped me investigate this photo because that’s obviously not the Murph in the background. Nope. That’s Mile High or Invesco or whatever the hell the donkeys call their field. No wonder they’re so damn cold.
Awesome. Call us a bunch of drunks and then don’t even put a picture up of us in our own city. Real cool, Daily Beast people. Worst representation ever. Don’t even get me started on the fact that these chicks are all drinking red wine in glasses at a tailgate.
Boston got no. 1. Makes sense, zero sports in that city, so they just drink out of boredom. The bigger question is this: how is Vegas only no. 15 on this list? I’d have put money on top 5…and, apparently, I’d have lost.
-bp
This story from today’s Union Trib – 12.29.11 –
SAN DIEGO — A gas station clerk was robbed at gunpoint in the Bay Park neighborhood Wednesday night, San Diego police said.
The holdup was reported about 9:35 p.m. at a Shell station on Clairemont Drive near Denver Street.
The robber, described as a Latino man in his mid-30s, 5 feet 7 inches tall and weighing 200 pounds, wore a white hooded jacket, a black ski mask and blue jeans. He entered the store, pulled out a gun, demanded cash and left with an undisclosed sum, police said.
Just got real, lobsters. This is my gas station… the one that I go to when I forget to load up on the cheap stuff at Costco. It’s down the street from my place in Bay Park. So… time to put on my crime dog hat. Well, looky what BP found… from a mere 18 days ago.
This story is also from the Union Trib – 12.11.11 –
MISSION BAY PARK — An Arco gas station in Bay Park was robbed at gunpoint shortly after 5 p.m. Sunday, San Diego police said.
The robber — described by police as a Hispanic man in his 30s, 5 feet tall, medium build, wearing a gray and blue striped hooded sweatshirt — left the gas station on foot heading north on Morena Boulevard, Officer Dino Delimitros said. The station is on Morena Boulevard near Jellett Street.
The robber pointed a handgun at the clerk and demanded money, Delimitros said. Officials did not disclose how much money was taken.
Robbery detectives are currently investigating the incident.
Ah-ha! Two different gas stations in the Bay Park area in one month? Well, well, well. You’re welcome San Diego Police Department, I just connected the dots for you to start looking for this serial gun toting thief. He is: THE HISPANIC HOODIE BANDIT. Chances are, I’m gonna have to solve this neighborhood crimes spree on my own. Time to get gangster gangsta on the Hispanic Hoodie Bandit. It’s only a matter time before somebody gets hurt when you’re running around pointing guns at people. I’ve had enough, I’ve got a family to protect… a community to protect! All I have to do is find this extremely rare breed of San Diego man described at the robbery. Shouldn’t be too tough… a short Mexican wearing a hoodie and jeans near the Clairemont area.
-bp
[lobbed by Mac, lobster extraordinaire and fellow bay park hoodrat]
I just realized I haven’t even acknowledged that the Chargers lost to the Lions or that they were eliminated from the playoffs. I guess that loss pissed me off so much that I was too frustrated to write about it. I’ve said for the past 4 weeks that the Chargers were not going to make their miraculous December run again and make the playoffs… but it was because I thought it was too little too late. I did think we’d win out, I just didn’t think the Broncos would lose out. I was right, but wrong. We lost.
Anyway… there’s always a bright side, right? Now Norv’s definitely gonna get fired. Now we all get what we wanted… a new coach. Who’s it gonna be? Will AJ Smith join him? The arguments are endless. Cue all the continuous Gruden, Fisher, Cowher chatter.
-bp
That’s me on the right: Finkle & Einhorn. You can see I lost by about 3.5 points. I love Drew Brees… he’s my most recent Man Crush. However, without that final Drew Brees TD pass to Darren Sproles, I’d have won because, with a gigantic lead, the Saints would’ve run the ball out. So, I should be angry, right? I lost some cash and bragging rights because Brees was chasing Marino record. Meh… it’s Brees, I don’t really care all that much. I’m a bigger fan of him than I am winning fantasy football.
Tell ya what though… if it was Tom Brady or Rapethlisberger that I lost to…I’d be livid.
-bp
I’m not really much of a SyFy movie guy. If you show me this movie description: “When human forces discover the existence of the Vampire and Lycan clans, a war to eradicate both species commences. The vampire warrioress Selene leads the battle against humankind.” No chance I’m going to the theater to see that movie. No chance. Show it to me again with the words, “starring Kate Beckinsale in IMAX 3D” at the end? Well, I just bought 8 tickets to go see it every day the first week it comes out and twice on Sunday. I LOVE KATE BECKINSALE. So, yes, I will see Underworld Awakening… and I will love it. A few screenshots for your viewing pleasure.
Oh, and in case you weren’t convinced she’s smoking hot, even as some vampire killer lady… Kate was kind enough to make an appearance here in San Diego at ComicCon to promote her movie. Oh my…
legs for days… *gulp*
-bp
[lobbed by LT, via]
