Osama Bin Laden: Ding, Dong…The Witch is Dead

Osama Bin Laden is dead. “Justice has been done,” announced President Obama on Sunday night. It’s such a bizarre feeling to be so happy about somebody getting killed. Regardless of your political beliefs or views…there is one less mass murdering asshole on the planet. That’s a fantastic thing. Great day for America. Great day for the world. Here’s one of the billion stories out there about his death, this one from ABC. Somebody with time and resources at their fingertips needs to tell me how high this spiked President Obama’s approval ratings.

It was a great speech that Obama gave, but man… just kinda left me with a thousand questions. I cannot WAIT for all the details to come out about this. I have SO many questions. Here are just a few. Is this photo of a dead Bin Laden fake? I think so, but if you want to see for yourself, (warning: graphic) go here. After 10 years of hunting in caves, is it true that Special Forces finally called Jack Bauer in as team lead? Chuck Norris? Steven Seagal? Dog? So there’s a video inside the compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan. Is there video of the actual take down? What’s this about the Navy Seals having to blow up one of their own helicopters? Or did it just crash and blow up?  The USA dumped his body the ocean? Davy Jones Locker? What’s up with that? They were burning their trash at the compound instead of putting out to be picked up? How was that not a red flag earlier, or is that normal in Pakistan? The Seals killed his son too? Are there more of them? Bin Laden was shot in the face? In the left eye? How badass is that?! I wonder how T-Boz and Chilli feel about it? Who was the guy, a Navy Seal presumably, that got off the left eye shot? He’s my new man crush of the week…hell, of the decade.

As joyful as American’s are that Bin Laden has been killed, hopefully America’s leaders and armed forces are equally cautious to any sort of counterattack by Al Qaeda. Safe to say those effers are pissed off…whatever is left of them. Stand guard in triumph, USA, for I fear this fight is far from over. One last question… How many “likes” does the “Osama Bin Laden is DEAD” Facebook page have now?


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