Some Moron Got a Dirk Nowitzki Ass Tattoo

Why I Got This Tattoo of Dirk Nowitzki On My Ass (As If It’s Not Obvious)

Dallas Observer – Derek Dilday is a really big Mavs fan. He recently got the above tattoo. Here he is talking about why:

“The inspiration came from being a huge Dirk fan, obviously. Knowing how much Dirk wanted this championship and the struggles he has been through with this team for the past 13 years made me want this championship for him more than I’ve wanted any other sports championship. Once they got to the Finals, especially against the Miami Heat, I may have got a little too excited and posted on Facebook that I would get Dirk’s face tatted on my ass if they won it all. I got quite a few comments back from friends, so I knew that if they did win it all I would kind of have to do it. When Dirk lifted the Larry O’Brien and the MVP trophy it was the greatest sports moment of my life. I sports-cried, called a high school friend that does tattoos and have been on a Dallas Mavericks championship high ever since. Now I realize that I will be sitting on a big German man’s face for the rest of my life.”

“As If It’s Not Obvious” is easily the best part about this headline and article. I saw the picture, read that headline and I will take you through my train of thought: “Oh man! You’re not kidding. Most obvious thing ever. This joker lost a bet. That’s the ONLY explanation. He’s a huge Heat fan and he was out with his buddies..PLASTERED…and he guaranteed a Heat win and said he’d get Dirk’s face tattooed on his ass if they lost. Right? That’s the only way this could’ve gone down.” Nope, just a huge lover of Dirk. Unbelievable. Here’s what you need to understand Derek Dilday, even without the ears, that tattoo looks more Mr. Tumnus than it does Dirk… killer horns, bro. If you want to make this tat look cool…here’s what you have to do: extend the tattoo with Dirk’s neck, tattoo the face of Deshawn Stevenson’s face on Dirk’s adams apple, making sure you can see Abe Lincoln’s face on the tiny tattoo of Deshawn’s neck… and then of course, make sure the really tiny little Abe has a tattoo of Deshawn’s face on his neck…and so forth and so on. You’re an idiot.


[via Jimmy Traina]

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