Another San Diego Beach Closed due to “Large Dorsal Fin Sighting!”

Today, the SD U-T reports that the beaches around La Jolla Children’s Pool have been closed because a couple boogie boarders spotted what appeared to be a 12 inch dorsal fin cutting through the water just past the surf break. Lifeguards shut the beach down because it was a “possible great white.”

Ladies and gentleman, 3 major beach closures within a week of each other!? What gives?

Allow me to introduce to you …… “Terry!”

Terry is a handicapped San Diego local dolphin, born with an abnormally large and backwards dorsal fin who is getting a bad rap on local beaches. I mean, look at poor Terry…his fin is so jacked up that it carries a bizarre discoloration, and completely different skyline, like some freakish aura around it. Terry’s poor dorsal fin is so big and scary that it looks like some idiot hack job spent 14 seconds on Microsoft Paint creating this image because he doesn’t know how to use photoshop. Terry just wants to swim around and play in the surf just like you and I, but every time someone sees him they scream and swim away and helicopters and boats all of the sudden appear.  Poor Terry. How would you feel if every time you went outside to play you got this treatment just cause you were born with a huge nose or abnormally hairy eyebrows? It would hurt wouldn’t it? Terry is pretty much the dolphin equivalent of Dumbo. So, here is my challenge to all San Diegans:  Next time you are out enjoying one of San Diego’s fine beaches and you see a large dorsal fin, I want you to swim toward that majestic fin and embrace that beautiful animal as a friend. Chances are, it’s just silly ‘ol Terry looking for someone to play with. Let’s help show Terry that his insanely large dorsal fin is a gift, not a handicap. Please join me by embracing large dorsal fins, not fleeing from them. I am starting a movement, we’ll call it “Swim to the fins.”

All kidding aside,  Sharks live in the ocean, it is quite possible for San Diegoittes to see them occasionally, so do me a favor and don’t freak out when you see an animal in its natural habitat.


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