FAN RANT: The Marlins are Everything the Padres Should Be…

The Marlins are now reportedly bumping their Albert Pujols offer to 10 years. No details yet, but HOLY CRAP. I swear… I gave it a few minutes of thought after hearing the Marlins signed Jose Reyes, and I started to get really pissed at the Padres. Now, this Pujols offer is blowing up twitter and I’m really pissed. This is how my train of thought went, however random and scattered it may be…a total rant that I won’t proofread and will undoubtedly have factual errors.

The entire history of the Florida Marlins, now the Miami Marlins, is a mockery of the San Diego Padres organization. The Padres have been around since 1969…zero World Series titles. The Marlins come in to the league in 1993… takes them a whopping FIVE YEARS to win a World Series in 1997. How do they reward their fans? The sell the entire team and lose more than 100 games in 1998. Much like Padres fans of late… the Marlins fans say “eff you” to the organization and stop coming to games… attendance plummets. The franchise must be screwed right? Fire sales don’t lead to quick turn-arounds. Wrong. They change ownership, and fire their manager…enter old man McKeon and just like that… 2003 brings another World Series championship.

Seriously? Marlins: 2 Padres: 0 What a joke. Want to see a championship Padres team?

The North Colonie Padres U15 team won the AABC State Tournament Championship in Scotia.

No idea who those kids are…no clue where Scotia is, but they’re the Padres, and it looks like they won a championship. They are better than the San Diego Padres and they have two Yankee fans for batboys and an entire team holding up the “no. 1” finger, with one additional idiot on the right flashing “westside” and the moron in the middle giving us the “shocker” which he’s only heard about in movies. (yes, I just made fun of a bunch of kids under 15yrs old)

While the Marlins were winning their second WS title, San Diego was building Petco Park with promises that a new ballpark will means big name players and big spending and a winning product. What a bunch of rubbish. After differing levels of mediocrity for a few years, the last couple years have been an absolute joke. Enter 2010. Adrian Gonzalez, the team’s hometown hero and only bright spot… traded to Boston. 2011? Heath Bell. (lost to Free Agency)

Enter 2012. Padres get new uniforms! This is a sign, folks! The times they are-a-changin’! My ass they are-a-changin’. Soon after the Padres crappy new unis are unveiled, a new look Miami Marlins enters the scene. Their fans suck worse than ours, and they get a new stadium and a new-look team….and apparently, unlike the Padres, the Marlins actually mean it. They went and got Ozzie Guillen to manage, we have the BudBot. Our only all-star, Heath Bell, as mentioned, traded lost in Free Agency to the Marlins. That means, the only closer currently on the Padres payroll is Trevor Hoffman…in the front office. They sign Jose Reyes to play shortstop… and as far as I know, the Padres have the ghost of Khalil Greene’s sad feelings playing short.

The whole Marlins team just seems fun to be around. On Twitter, they have the best follow in all the land. Logan Morrison. Here’s one small example of why he rocks.

See? That’s funny. What do the Padres have? Mow-my-lawn O-dogg.

I would literally take a team full of slightly better than average LoMos for our entire team. Just because he’s at least entertaining off the field. I’d want to keep Latos and Maybin. That’s about it. Maybe Hundley because I like him, not because he’s all that great. How sad is that? An entire major league team and I want to keep two players. Check LoMo out, stallion. —>

What a freaking crock. I’m pissed at the Padres right now. Until I get over it… I’m cheering for the Marlins… at least for the next 24 hours.


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