Jamie Moyer’s Win Defines the Padres

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Jamie Moyer’s five-year plan? Don’t die. Everybody is emailing me asking why I haven’t written about him being the oldest pitcher in the history of MLB, 49 years old, to win a game…since he did it against our Padres. Well, was there ever really any doubt? Padres fans knew he was gonna get the win. I don’t care if the team raked the day before in that exact same Coors Field against a better pitcher. Doesn’t matter. It’s as if the Padres were put on this earth to serve as the team that always goes into the record books on the ass-end of records. You’re old as balls and you want a win? Sweet… we’ll start you against the Padres, no-brainer.

As for Moyer personally… love him. Love that he got the win. Love that his fastball clocked in at 78-mph… slower than all the Padres pitchers’ change-ups. (I think) Love that he’s sending some of his game gear to Cooperstown because, even though his next win would break his own record… he’s not sure he’ll be pitching against the Pads again, so there are no guarantees.

If I’m say, Greg Maddux, and I want to get my name in Cooperstown as the oldest guy to get a win in the big leagues… I wait ’til I’m 60… I hit up the Braves, sign a one-day contract for free to pitch against the Padres… get my guaranteed win, and cement my name in the history books. Easy peasy…


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