You Freaking Kidding Me, Andrew Cashner?

You’re not the only one scratching your head, champ.

No biggie, Padres flame-throwner Andrew Cashner just has to have surgery on his hand because his “friend” stabbed him on a hunting trip while they were “trimming a carcass.” Some friend… lacerating a tendon on his pitching hand.

Easily my favorite quote from the article comes from Padres general manager Josh Byrnes, who, upon learning that Cashner would miss the start of the season because of the 3-month recovery, said, “This was not Plan A.” HAHAHAHA!

Another gem from the article…said in a casual fashion…”Cashner is the second Padres pitcher to be wounded in a hunting accident in 13 years.” HAHAHAHA!

In 1999, Carlton Loewer, who the Padres had just acquired (with Adam Eaton) in a trade for Andy Ashby, suffered a broken leg and a badly dislocated ankle when he fell out of a tree blind while hunting. The injury essentially ended Loewer’s career.

So there’s that. My only hope here is that somehow Cashner’s surgeon will channel the surgeon from Rookie of the Year, and his fastball will go from 102MPH to approximately 145MPH. Also, I want Gary Busey to coach the Padres. My work here is done.


This entry was posted in Baseball and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.